Poison in the Heart

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Carrying resentments, guilt, hate, and anger within you, will kill you (but first make you miserable as hell). Since we are a massive ball of energy it is what we choose to do with this energy that is either productive or life threatening.
Just the other day I took something personal that was said to me. It was not what was said but how I internalized it that mattered. What did I learn? It is not what goes on outside of you rather what happens inside that matter.

My first thought was “you bastard, you could not walk an hour in my shoes” Then my “Grand Central Station” mind started to take over, (also known as EGO). And the snowball effect was on. I wanted to knock the s**t out of them as I would then proceed to justify my actions.
I was off the beam and I knew those words and actions could be like a nail in a piece of wood that has been removed. The nail is gone but the hole remains. My thoughts were becoming things. (not nice things either). What I was thinking about I was bringing about. I immediately changed my state and refocused on the solution.
If I am not in charge of my emotions poison enters my heart and the “Warrior” returns. This individual saw the angel of darkness in my eyes. I apologize for that relapse and forgave myself . The beauty, there was a time when I would not have thought twice. The Talisman of this, well it reminded me of the “rush” that the old soldier (me) lived for.
A famous General once said “old soldiers never die….they just fade away” I say “old soldiers never die… the young ones die for em”.

 

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